


Love Reincarnated

by devilziam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romance, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 00:56:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5562577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilziam/pseuds/devilziam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason Styles and Louis Tomlinson were high school sweethearts and everything was a cheesy romantic comedy chick flick for a while. Till, of course, teenage angst and Jason's suicide ripped the lovers apart. Upon losing Jason, Louis decided to enroll himself in the army and spend his whole life there. But in a fortunate turn of events, when Louis surprise visits his family after 7 years in his hometown, he bumps into a boy and is mesmerized by his looks. Not because he is insanely attractive, which he most definitely was, but because he looked exactly like his beloved Jason. And when he asks for his name, this 6'2 curly haired stranger with emerald eyes replies, "Styles. Harry Styles."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fanfiction on ao3 so I have no idea what I'm doing. Please try not to judge me too harshly. 
> 
> I would also like to thank my dear friends Cornelia, Sierra, Bat & Pepito for inspiring me to write this story. Love you guys xx

School Hallways.

Two simple words, yet, it holds a special place in everyone’s heart. It’s a place where we find our lifelong dreams and ambitions, get our first battle scars, our first love (and last too, in rare cases) and maybe, just maybe, gather knowledge. But that’s mostly inside classrooms though; Hallways are more like a memory lane full of of bittersweet memories that stay with us forever and shapes us to be who we become after we say our last goodbyes in there.

Like everyone , the hallways of the school Louis Tomlinson had attended occupied a large, possibly the largest place, in his heart. As he sat inside his tent, in the middle of a war in a country he couldn’t pronounce the name of, being well aware that every breath he took might just be his last, the soldier of 25 years smiled as the image of a certain dimpled cheeks and emerald eyes appeared inside his brain like a photo.

You’d think seeing small children bleed to death and pieces of detached limbs each day for 7 years straight would make a man less of a man and more of a living corpse. At nights when you’re alone and these are the pictures in your head that you go to sleep with, insomnia would easily become anyone’s best friend to the point where this best friend would crush your sanity like how they destroy the cities; into a threshold of nothingness.

Thinking of the boy Louis had spend walking side by side, holding hands with in the school hallways was what kept this soldier who had lived with such brutality like its his next door neighbor human. His and only his thoughts was what kept Louis safe from losing sleep (and possibly his sanity) every night. Every night, he would go to sleep thinking about this boy, thinking about how he had trouble fixing his overly curly hair every morning and the day he finally decided to make it short because he was tired of being late to school every day, how his tongue stuck out a little when he laughed and ate, how he had pimples and little facial hair sticking out when he was going through puberty.... Louis decided to take out a piece of paper and a pen that he was allowed with and write the thoughts down in the form of a letter to his beloved deceased high school sweetheart.

" _Dear Styles,_

_Are you looking down at me right now? Haha, remember that joke? That time when you were climbing that fence and you looked at me and asked if I could make it on the top of it and I said ‘What, just because you’re taller doesn’t mean you get to look down on me.’ I still laugh. And I still miss you._

_It’s 1:00 am and I’m sleeping in a tent with bugs buzzing in my ears and the smell of sweat and blood has invaded my nostril. Not quite pleasing. If only I had you to hold in my arms, I would fall asleep in an instant, despite the terror going about in the city. Why? Because I would know that I am holding my whole world safe inside my arms. But I can’t hold you, not even if I leave and catch the fastest plane right home. You are so many lightyears away, my love, and I wish there was a way where I could reduce the number of these light years, but you are impossible to reach. And they say nothing’s impossible. What lies._

_Perhaps I do not make sense right now, and I am glad it’s you I am talking to. You won’t judge me if I don’t make sense, you never did. Remember our late night conversations? Yeah, those were so precious, those are so precious and it makes me sad. It makes me so sad that I will never get them back. Darling, you will always will be in my heart and it will always be you for whom it aches. I promise.  
_

_Do you remember the day we met? I remember it. Second by second of those 24 hours, I remember it."_

 

Flashback:

The crashing of lockers, the chitter-chatter of sleepy yet enthusiastic teenagers, the sound of couples ‘in love‘ making out all filled the air. Louis walked with his books clutched closely to his chest, flashing his colorful attire and swaying his hips side to side as he walked past all his fellow class-mates, seniors and juniors. Why was he in such a good mood, you ask? Well, as he stood in front of the closed door of his theater class, he realized he was chosen to play Bassanio in Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice. “Well, isn’t that surprising! First Danny in Grease, now Bassanio in Merchant Of Venice, I’m on a roll baby!” he screamed at all the other Bassanios who were obviously rejected. The rejected cast turned around, grumbling among themselves. Louis walked inside the theater contently.

He stood on the stage, facing the empty seats. He was home.

The year before, when he was rehearsing as Danny from Grease, he realized how much at ease he felt under the spotlight on massive stage. He knew this was where he belonged and he never looked back.

Lost in his daydream, the shuffling sound of someone falling behind him startled him. “Ouch!” a deep voice whined from the back of the stage. “Ouch indeed.” Louis replied, sassily. “My heart is being carved out of my chest already and the Shylock hasn’t been chosen yet.”

And so, a figure emerged from behind the curtains. The boy was at least three inches taller than Louis and at least ten times more goofier than him. The smile on his face gave it all away, and despite feeling invaded, Louis realized the boy was actually..... beautiful.

“Hello, I am Styles. Jason Styles. Or Antonio for the time I’ll be inside the theaters, I guess.” he smiled, the either side of his cheeks sinking in. Louis never saw this boy before and he wondered how did he ever overlook this hard-to-miss boy. His eyes were the shade of green that was like a freshly fallen leaf and it glistened like a dew drop on it. His hair was a mess of curls and it seemed like he didn’t bother trying to set it. He extended his long, big hands at Louis and Louis shook it, feeling slightly self conscious at his small palms.

“I am Louis, or Bassanio and so, we need to have that bromantic chemistry going as soon as possible.”

Jason chuckled at his way with words. “But I don’t know you and we just met.....” he said, crossing his arms over his chest, faking the shyness. Or not. He was blushing for real and Louis found it endearing.

“I asked for bromance not sex.”

And as Harry’s eyes met Louis’, emerald eyes to aquamarine ones, Louis realized despite his lack of flamboyance, the lad standing in front of him was all heart eyes over him. And Louis liked it, because well, he was attractive and well, who wouldn’t like knowing an attractive person found you attractive?

“Shall we rehearse a few lines before the rest of the cast an crew arrives?” asked Louis, as though he was asking ‘shall we dance?’.

“Would Miss be okay with it?” Jason asked, confused at Louis’ tone.

“Sure she would, she loves me!” said Louis, throwing his arms around him.

And as the boys rehearse the lines for well 15 minutes before the rest of the cast and crew arrived, Louis and Jason both knew that between the lines in the script and Louis’ sass and Jason’s smoothness (and shyness at times), this was the beginning of something beautiful and that this would last for a very very long time.

 

-End of flashback-

Louis sighed as he wrote the last bit of the letter. If anyone asked what was the point of the letter he just wrote, or any of the past letters he wrote to the name 'Styles', Louis wouldn't have had an answer. He just wrote it, because it felt right. Because he needed something to hold onto. And because, even if he was on a foreign land and even if Jason was not physically in existence, he wanted to keep his sweetheart alive in his mind. And what better way to do that than think of him as a living, breathing human whom he can write letters to?

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Mate, can you record something?” asked Liam Payne, one of the two soldiers that Louis had befriended over the period of 7 long years. He held out a camcorder at Louis, expectantly and Louis couldn’t help but wonder what the special occasion was since the troop was almost never allowed with a camera, let alone a camcorder. Must be something important enough for Officer Clarke to bend the rules.

“Of course, but how did you get Officer Clarke to give you this?” Louis asked, palming the camcorder and studying it.

“Easy, I showed him this.” Liam shoved his hand inside the pocket of his khaki pants that was the part of the uniform and brought out a small, shiny, silver box. Louis immediately knew what it was. “You are gonna propose to Lieutenant Malik?!” Louis squealed, keeping his voice low because he noticed the charcoal haired man with hazel eyes not far behind them. Liam shushed him as he noticed his boyfriend and brother in arms (Louis didn’t miss the opportunity to make jokes on how that term made their relationship ‘incest’) walking towards him.

“What are we discussing here lads?” said the Lieutenant to the two of his troops. Lt. Zayn Malik actually tried his best to show that he had authority over them but being Liam’s boyfriend for 5 years and Louis’ best friend, it was obvious he couldn’t maintain the image around them. “Well, sir, it is indeed a wonderful day,” began Louis, “The birds are singing, the sun is shining and oh look, I got a camcorder!” he waved the camcorder in front of Zayn’s eyes as if it was some rare object. “Yeah, I noticed. Why?” Zayn asked, arching his naturally well trimmed eyebrows upwards.

“Why, my love, I wanted to record every feature of your beautiful face so I have something to jack off when I’m old and horny.” Liam volunteered, signaling Louis to start recording. Zayn snorted. Louis did what he was told, zooming into a very confused Zayn. “I want to remember your long lashes, your sugar plum lips and your perfectly carved jawlines.” said Liam. Louis zoomed into Liam’s face, before zooming out to catch both of them in frame. Zayn’s face was a mixture of confusion and blush as Liam took his hand onto his. “I want to remember us as young and full of life so when we are old and colorless, this will give us colors.” he continued, getting down on one knee in front of him. Louis bit his lips to stop himself from giggling. “And when our children will ask how I popped that pretty question, we will have this to show them.” Zayn’s face was now a bright shade of red and he had one of his hand cupping his mouth while Liam held the other one. “So, I am asking you, sir,” Zayn smirked at the address of his title coming from his boyfriend, “will you marry me?” Liam finally opened the silver box, revealing a diamond ring.

“Yes! Yes, of course!” Zayn exclaimed, leaping into his arms. And Louis, along with the other troops applauded at the movie-like scene they just witnessed.

\--------------

That evening, Louis had another flashback.

Flashback:

It was a week since The Merchant Of Venice was staged and Louis and Jason were already a hot gossip going about from ears to ears. Their obvious chemistry on stage had a lot of people questioning, and even their drama teacher made a joke about how Jason should’ve been casted as Portia rather than Antonio because ‘he hits it off better with Bassanio’. Much to their dismay though, Louis and Jason were _just friends._

Or so they thought.

 It was a Friday night when Louis heard a knock on the door, interrupting him from his Glee marathon. Reluctantly he got up from his comfortable position on his living room couch and answered the door.

_It was Jason. Well, not much of him._

Jason was wearing a white V-neck and pajamas. His white V-neck had red marks on it, indicating that he was bleeding in those areas. What made Louis’ stomach churn was Jason’s face. His eyes were purple and swollen; His lips had a gash, blood trailing down from it. His face had bruises all over in different places, some worse than the others. He was completely beaten up and he was so fragile, as though he might lose consciousness any minute. Louis was surprised he made it up to his house and at the same time, relieved that he did. 

“Who did this to you?!” Louis screamed as Jason lost his balance and fell weakly into Louis’ arms.

Jason was passed out, Louis realized. Louis scooped him up bridal style and laid him down on the couch. Then he called his mum who was setting dinner in the kitchen. His mum was nurse at a local hospital and she knew exactly what to do in this situation. Professionally, she took his shirt, poured some liquid onto a white fabric and cleaned up his face and his torso. After that, she left a medicine and a glass of water for when Jason would wake up. He slowly regained consciousness in a few hours and Louis let out a breath which he was unknowingly holding back. Louis had carried him to his bed when he was unconscious and laid him down. Louis laid beside him, caressing Jason’s hair.

“Hi.” Jason whispered weakly. Despite his state, Jason managed a smile, showing off his dimple that Louis adored.

“How are you feeling?” Louis cooed, continuing to caress his hair.

“Better now that I’m with you.”

Louis smiled, softly touching Jason’s cheeks. Jason let out a pained whimper and Louis’ heart sank.

“Who hurt you, love?” asked Louis, softly.

Jason hesitated. A pained look and a few mumbles later, he replied “My father. He says he doesn’t want a fag for a son.”

And Louis heart broke into a million pieces there and then. How could someone do that? How could someone try to hurt his own son for something that’s beyond his control? How could someone hurt someone so precious as Jason this way?

“You ran away?” Louis asked, pulling the weak boy closer to his chest. Jason nodded, his eyes glossy.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” he said, letting out a frail cry.

“Tell me where it hurts, I’ll kiss it better.” despite being smaller than Jason, Louis held him close to his chest and cradled him. Jason looked up and pointed at his temple. Louis brushed his lips softly on the spot and pressed a kiss there. Jason smiled. He pointed his forehead next. Louis repeated the process. And the process went on for his cheeks, his nose, his jawlines, the top of his eyes, his knuckles and _his lips._

Jason pointed at his lips at last, and Louis looked at him puzzled. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Please.” Jason begged. Instead of immediately kissing him, Louis let go of him and got off the bed. He then got on one knee and like a man would propose to his wife, he asked “First, will you be my boyfriend?”.

After that, Louis’ mum was blessed with the news that her son had a boyfriend now and was also informed about Jason’s domestic situation. This lead Jason to stay in Louis’ house for the next two months till things were settled in the Styles’ household. What a wonderful two months it had been for the lovebirds indeed!

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

A starlit night and a campfire had really set the mood for the young soldiers on the night when they were celebrating the news that their troops were finally being sent home. “So, anyone know any good ghost stories?” asked Lieutenant Zayn, putting his arms around his fiance’s shoulders. Liam, who was at least four inches taller and quite a few biceps larger, nuzzled into the crook of Lt. Zayn’s neck. The two seemed to be wrapped up in a small world where they were the only ones in existence. 

Louis pretended to look away from them in disgust. “You two make me sick.” he faked a gagging noise. The troop of thirty out of which only ten were present erupted into a heartily laughter, few of them patting Louis on the back.

In all truth, he felt a lump on his throat seeing the couple so happy and so in love. Not to be mistaken, he was happy for the two of his best mates but, it also reminded him of all the times he had spent with Jason. It reminded him of all those nights where they camped in their small backyard, falling asleep underneath the amethyst night sky, whispering sweet nothings to each other’s ears and stealing quick kisses from one another as though someone was watching them. He thought of all the nights when Jason and him were cuddled up on his couch, watching whatever horror movies that came on the cable every Friday night. “Are you scared?” he would ask Jason. “Not if I have you to protect me.” Jason would reply before kissing his cheeks ever so softly.

“I know one,” someone volunteered, interrupting Louis from his reverie. 

“Do tell, Mr. Ghostbuster.” Louis replied. A wave of chuckles hit the small group. The soldier who volunteered to say the story cleared his throat.

“So it all started when.....”

Flashback:

It was just like any other Friday night. The popcorn was being prepared in the microwave, a blanket was set out on the couch and Jason was already looking for the channel that showed horror movie on dish. The beeping noise indicated that the popcorn was done and Louis wasted no time in putting it in a bowl. Then, he plopped down next to Jason on the couch, handing him the bowl of popcorn. 

“So what are we watching?” asked Louis.

“They’re showing ‘The Conjuring’.” 

As the movie started, Jason began to pull the blanket over him and Louis. There were only a few inches gap between the two boys and Louis didn’t hesitate to reduce that. He scooted closer and closer to Jason till Jason felt his boyfriend’s arms around his waist. “Boo, I’m scared.” Jason softly whispered in Louis’ ears. He didn’t mean to sound seductive but it did it for Louis anyway as he felt shivers going throughout his body when Jason’s lips brushed against the skin of his ears. 

“Come here then.” He pulled Jason closer so now Jason’s head was resting on his chest and his body between Louis’ legs. Jason eased himself into a comfortable position. Louis ran his fingers through Jason’s hair, Jason purred at the contact. Louis kissed the top of his head and Jason giggled and it felt like music to Louis’ ears. It felt like the music Louis wouldn’t mind listening to for the rest of his life. 

Jason tilted his head up and reached for Louis’ cheeks. He cupped his face with his large palms and caressed it with his thumbs. “Your eyes are like the color of the sky.” he told Louis. “And yours are the color of the forest.” Louis told him, tightening his grip around his waist. 

“So, somehow if my iris and your iris somehow crashes onto one another, it’ll look like the earth.” Jason would’ve been so embarrassed if he had said such stuffs out loud around other people but it was Louis and he didn’t care how stupid Jason sounded right now. He never cared how stupid Jason ever sounded, Louis had told him, as long as Jason was speaking. Louis planted a kiss on Jason’s lips. “Yes, it would.” he said, his lips still close to Jason's.

“I love you.” Jason finally blurted out, because he couldn’t resist himself anymore, he loved Louis so much and he wanted to remind it to him constantly. But he didn’t. This was the first time.

“I love you too.” Louis reciprocated, pulling him in for another passionate kiss. This kiss was the longest yet that they had shared. It was one of those kisses which was for the sake of expressing the love that they had for each other and neither of them wanted to pull back. But as much as Jason needed Louis to live and vice versa, they needed oxygen too.

“The movie’s boring.” Jason stated. So, Louis turned it off and got up, pulling Jason up with him. “So, what do you suggest we rather do?” Louis had a devilish grin on his face, as though he was hoping Jason would say something dirty. 

“Well,” Jason stepped in closer, “we could do this.” and Jason crashed his lips onto Louis’, however, this time, the kiss was filled with pure lust of him wanting Louis. He let his tongue into Louis’ mouth and slipped his hands under Louis’ shirt. Louis found his hands into Jason’s pants and he softly tugged it, not hard enough so that it would fall down but hard enough to reveal Jason’s waistband of his boxers. Jason cupped Louis’ face, his kisses getting more rushed and desperate. Louis entangled his fingers with Jason’s hair as Jason pinned him against the wall. Louis felt himself being lifted and as his feet left the ground, he wrapped it around Jason’s torso. 

“I want you so much.” he said to Louis. 

“How much?” Louis whispered. 

“This,” he grabbed one of Louis’ hands and led it towards his penis, which was hurting from being so hard, “much.” he hissed. Jason kissed Louis one more time, this time tugging at his bottom lips. Louis whimpered at the way Jason nibbled his bottom lips, which felt so good. 

“Let me take care of that.” Louis hissed into Jason’s ear, and he felt Jason tense up. He softly nudged Jason to move and so Jason let go of him, and the boys were now out of contact with each other. Jason stood in front of Louis’ and he looked so vulnerable; His hair was a mess, his pupils were dilated, his legs were wobbly. Louis walked closer to him and softly pushed him. Jason fell on the bed, spreading his legs so Louis could step between him. 

“Louis...” he moaned.

Louis crouched down so his face was close to Jason’s hard spot. “So hard for me.” he smirked as he pulled the clothing that covered it. Jason softly moaned again, as the most sensitive part of his body got exposed. Louis wasted no time in wrapping his palms around it. He was already leaking. Louis brought his mouth closer to the tip and licked away a few of the white liquid away from it. Then he softly trailed downwards, suckling on the length before extending his tongue out as he headed back to the tip. He wrapped his mouth around it, and Jason pushed his head inwards so he was deep inside. “aahh..” he let out a cry. “I can’t...” and he came deep inside Louis’ throat. 

Louis unwrapped his lips from around Jason’s penis and pulled him up. He looped his arms below Jason’s armpits and Jason rested his chin onto Louis’ shoulder. “Now, my turn.” he whispered into Louis’ ears seductively. 

-End of flashback-

“Excuse me, lads.” said Louis, who hadn’t heard a single word of the story the lad was saying. He got up and ran, ran till he reached his tent. Then, once under the cover of his sleeping bag, he reached for his dick inside his pants and jacked off to the memory of Jason’s mouth over there.


End file.
